the second captain america movie was so good
literally drives me insane when someone who’s friends with a person irl likes literally every single thing they write on here but is never there for that person or even remotely tangibly supportive.
News flash dip-fuck: liking posts doesn’t make you a good friend; being a good friend makes you a good friend. Now fuck off back to the hole from whence you emerged you pond scum.
this is the most australian thing that has ever or will ever happen you can all go home now
she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s miss united states
Guy holding Martini while walking his cat.
Me in 10 years
A relationship is like a house
If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
Unless that house is a lying whore
Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
This took the best possible turn.
YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER
I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time
Michael: All right, so how’d you do it?
G.O.B.: Michael, a magician never reveals his… I sunk it! I sunk the yacht! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don’t see it anywhere.
Missing Kitty - 1x18
Michael: You’ve got to be the laziest person in the world.
Lindsay: If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the room, I’d slap your face.
The immaculate Election - 2x14
this tumblr is a true gem
Rest in peace, Mongo from Shrek 2. Your life was fleeting but you will never be forgotten.